Weigh Anchor

It’s been a while since my last post, and for those who have continued to check back here since last year, I offer my apologies. I’ve not been idle during this time – despite the ups, downs and other changes, I’ve actually managed to use some of this time to my advantage. I have decided to officially retire this blog. I’m not removing or deleting it, as I feel like there is information of tremendous value to be found here, particularly in the comments sections of these posts; but this will be my last actual post in Expanding Inward.

Part of the reason for it taking me so long to come back into this blog had to do with wanting to make sure my decision to shut down was the proper one. In the end, I evaluated my self, my journey on the Heathen path, and decided that I simply like myself better when I’m not blogging or getting into frequent religious discussions. I got to a point where I was so sure of the rightness of my positions that I felt irritated when I encountered dissent; and that I felt like I had a ‘position’ at all indicates I’d halted on my path and forgotten that religion is more about belief than knowledge. Who stops on their path isn’t walking it, and I’d certainly grown comfortable in my entrenched opinions. While I can attribute some of this to the effects of bipolar disorder, I think a significant portion of it came from a puffed-up feeling of pride and self-importance. This puffiness is something I have been critical of in the past, and it was horrifying for me to realize that I had become just like some of the religious bloggers I’d been most critical of. The longer I’ve spent away from this blog, the more guilty I’ve felt for not picking back up where I left off – but at the same time, I’ve felt better about myself and have managed to regain some sense of humility, and that has been my signal that it’s time to cast off the last mooring and journey further.

An even harder thing, I think, is the feeling of commitment I’ve had to this blog and to its readers. I kept telling myself that there were projects I wanted to see to conclusion, that I said I would eventually pick things back up, and this is another part of the reason why it’s taken me so long to post. In the end, though, my sole purpose in creating this blog was to increase visibility for Heathenry and Heathen perspectives on the Web in general and among the greater Pagan community in particular. That was my chief commitment, to which all else was subsequent, and I have the feeling that I achieved what I set out to do. Hardest, though, is feeling like I’m letting readers down by not writing in here again … to those of you who really are let down by this, I sincerely apologize, as it was readers like you who moved me to dream up a concept called Gastblogschaft. It’s my commitment to you that also moved me to write a good-bye post, rather than just extend my silence indefinitely. Ultimately for me, it was a choice between continuing my spiritual journey, or allowing the path to grow over while I remained under the roof of this blog; and I think my choice is something any spiritual person would understand.

So, I guess all that remains is to thank you for having come to read in Expanding Inward, thank you for any comments you may have left, and thank you for any thinking you may have done in response to what you read here. I wish all of you the best in your own journeys – Wes hal!